Answers

In the last 32 years, there have been many times that I have asked for my questions to be answered. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. I expected that answers would be given without an effort on my part.
I have tried to get through my life without looking in the mirror. Without seeing me for what I am, I was unable to truly forgive myself. I was paralyzed in guilt. Incapable to move forward, I replayed the past and all the selfish, immature and reckless behavior I displayed.
The emptiness that is felt is consuming and feeds depression. The sadness prevented me from seeing any good in my life. There was no room for trust. I could not trust those that love me..............I mean how could I when I didn't even trust myself.

I now know that there is a plan for me. I am beginning to see the gifts I have been given. Watching my children made this possible. Untainted by societies norms, their gifts are completely visible. It is amazing to watch them, to learn from them...........as they learn life.

Looking back, I could tell you that I have always wanted to be something more than I am. It used to be money and fame. Popularity and fortune was a way to heal myself from all the problems I felt I had. This is no longer how I feel. I do not want to be followed for what I have, but rather for what I represent. I must have internal peace before I can expect to be followed.
More to come...................